Friday, June 19, 2009

one day i will publish diz..(for my EX)

hey babe..i dunno how could i tell u this..i know its a lil bit childish 4 me to express my feeling n wut i think regarding us from here...but u know wut..i think..this is da best medium coz when we are together..i dunno how to all i wanted to say dat..lately i feel like the special feeling that i have towards u is getting faded away day by day..i cant control myself anymore even i tried to keep tellin my self..that i was da one who really want u..but i think its also be the reason why i been far away from u....i dun regret at all..i even feel relief!..ive tried to be firm..tried to hav faith on u like i used too..but i couldnt..not anymore..afta i be the witness for all da mistake u've done n for all unfaithfull thing u do..and the careless u make for me..i think, i will no longer be the one that u can leaned on..a shoulder for u to share stories bout ur boys…da one who shared ur sadness..which i used to be the person who will know everythin especially when u get not da one who trying to be far away from u..but u da one who never let me be wut i used to be before wit u..rite now..i think i will no longer share my everyday routine with u sending u a morning msg..things that i love to do more...

when we started as a fren..getting close...been in 'relationship'..i dun think u really luv me babe..even from the day u say yes when i propose..the answer u gave me which i think i will be excited to listen..but weird thing not...same goes when u gave me ur first kiss on my lips..i dont have any feeling for that..i just keep silent doing my things and keep on eye from far watching u doing wut ever u like.. i tried to giving u a lot of space wif hope u can change and appreaciated other people heart...u can hav everything that we used to hav as part of ur memory..which i dun think u remember 1 of them..but do respect the decision ive made..and things that ive asked for…that u havent fulfill yet..which is stop playing wif other people heart..

people make mistakes…same to us…same to u...same goes to me..lets forgive and forget..but being together is not the best for us…i know u already tell me this before..skandal is better then getting together..u ask me.."r u sure?"..yeah..dat time i really sure..but now..u lost me babe..u already lost me when u get close wif ur "abg chik"... i realized that..but im still keep silent on that..wif hope u'll notice that..but..muna always be muna i know..both of us only a frend even afta u say doesn’t mean that when we were apart we cant be doesnt mean that i hate not hate juz my special feeling on u not there nobody to judge people nobody to convict others..maybe u didnt noe me well enough..maybe i also didnt know u well enough..but i do think i know u more then u know me..i’d rather loose a lover than losing a fren..thats me…im not just a human being that couldnt face stupid things several times..again n again...

im hepi with my life..hoping that u r hepi too..if u r sorry im failed to make u happy as a couple..dun think too much..appreciated wut ever u already hve..stop making others hurt..i know a lot of people already say this to da word didnt hve any meaning to u rite..but please..u r big enough to realize that its not good to make other people hurt...its not the end of life for me…ive prove u right, i guess??…im not good enough to make u falling in luv wif i'll let u go..yes i am…coz i hav too..

thanks god ive frens..who always support grateful to hav them..ive thanked them thousand times for their care, their words and their advices even i keep doing same stupid thing..even their not agreed for any of my action..i understand why they dunt agreed..they dun want me to get hurt..but they still support me from my back......n i noe, u do hav them let them be near u till u hav enuf strength..u dun need fake luv to be happy..u juz need a real fren who really luv u as who u r..dun trust other people to much babe..da love word from them..dunt u ever think ur playing da game better then them..coz sometime a players also will lost their game..juz try to hve a fren babe...not multiple or triple lover...

HE knows what’s the BEST for ME..n for U as lets face the fate..u r not for me..u r not worth it for me to wait either..

now that im ready to face my new life…ive found a rainbow after a heavy rainbow is helping me to fine the right sunshine again…keep me on not use to be alone..but im trying my best…coz ive learnt a not used to rely on others..but u make me awake..that sometimes we cant do things by ourself..n now everything that i wanted to do..i ask for opinion…not from u…coz i cant..

for u, the one who i used to die to care for (before..)..i will always care as a fren of mine…but u couldnt ask more from me…coz now im not promising u anything anymore..coz my feeling not on u everything already change from the day u lost me..…like u not promising me anything...

for u,


for ur true feeling towards me even it juz for a while…its make me feel like im in heaven at that moment..

for ur care…which u used to care bout me...before..

for ur kindness that i really adore..

for ur time u spend wif me..

for ur acception to be my gurl..which i am like a beast..n u r da beauty..

for the kiss..

let it be as part of my life n my memory.

i pray the best for u..

im done here.

im not gonna be wif u anymore..coz i dunt think u need me anymore..

im not goin to say the luv word anymore.

so people..lets move on!..

new page for new life please!

i am what i am “to be remember as the one who always smiles even her heart is broken and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldn’t brighten her own..only the one..who really damn close n understand her well will know..wut is in her heart..but the thing is...its not u...muna..”

P/S : aku tulis nih lama dah..rasanya hujung tahun lepas...tapi tak tergamak nak publish.. sebb time tuh hati aku tak kuat lagik..skang bila aku bc balik..aku pk kenapa tak aku post saja..rugi kalau biar simpan jd draf..penat aku tulis..kan..huhu

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